When I started my journey through cancer, I was afraid...terrified even. My husband was in Iraq and I had cancer. A very treatable one, but the "C-word" nonetheless. The first few weeks after diagnosis were rough. I laughed very little and talked to very few people. When I was finally able to cope with having cancer it was freeing. I wasn't going to let this thing beat me, I wasn't going to let it take over my life. So send in the clowns!
You can’t laugh and be afraid at the same time—of anything.~Stephen Colbert, Parade Magazine
I honestly think that my ability to deal with having cancer was because I tried to laugh through the whole thing. I couldn't put my finger on what it was about laughing at cancer that was so nice, until I read Parade Magazine this past weekend. There was an interesting story about Stephen Colbert, from The Colbert Report. I love the very last line in the story (the above quote), because you can't be afraid if you are laughing. I couldn't be afraid of cancer if I was always saying, "Na na na na boo boo!"
So I started trying to find ways to poke fun at cancer and find the humor in it. I now have many names for my scar: Pez-head, Zipper, my permanent smile, Cut-throat. Would I be like Spiderman after I received the radioactive iodine treatment? (Unfortunately I have not yet discovered any superpowers) Would I glow in the dark after said treatment? I was hoping for something fun, but nope. It has turned out that each time Ian has deployed he has returned early, because of me having cancer-related surgery (or being diagnosed), we are 3 for 3 with deployments and early returns. Hopefully we make it through an entire deployment sometime, but until then I'll enjoy my favorite joke, "Oh, go on that deployment, Honey, but I know exactly what to do to get you home early!"