Monday, April 09, 2012

9 years of Surviving

9 years ago today I learned to fight. Then came the realization over the following months that I was stronger than I ever thought.

I was told many helpful things, "this will not be the demise of you" or "it's a very treatable cancer." Good phrases meant to boost your recently dashed hopes. But no one could have prepared me for the number of surgeries that lay ahead. For the grief that would at times feel suffocating. For the isolation that comes with having cancer. For the anger that overpowers your life.

I was blindsided by the diagnosis and then the slew of emotions that followed. It took me months, if not over a year, to be able to truly comprehend how my life had changed. I had all those crazy emotions, but I also learned to enjoy life. To take time to drink my coffee on the porch. To sit back and watch my kids dig in the dirt. To savor a quiet moment with my husband. To let the dishes sit while I take a much needed nap. I also learned to speak up for myself and get involved in my care. To find a new doctor if the current one isn't cutting it. To call as many times as you need until you get answers or copies of your reports.

And now as I am going through many of these emotions again, I am trying to remind myself of what I learned 9 years ago. Much of what I faced was quite difficult but there was some good that came from it as well. And I have to remember that.

9 years ago today I became a Survivor.


genderist said...

Happy Cancerversary!

Anonymous said...

I can relate to this blog so much, reading your blog gives me that much needed strength to continue my fight against thyroid cancer.